Completed my last paper on the 31st May'07.
Have mixed feelings-
Sense of Joy and relief:
I can comfortably address myself as a social worker.
Dun have to worry about financial constraints every month. Able to contribute to my parents and start doing what makes me happy.
however, there are also
Sense of fear and lost:
Then I ask myself what makes me happy?
What do I wan to do?
Actually all questions boils down to what's my passion ?
Ever since I completed by last assignment, I have been thinking what to do with myself.
Now I have all the time in the world to choose what I wan to do.
For those who know me, I always have a passion for dancing because I believe what's inside you is what comes out. Dance requires a large amount of movements and facial expression. So for those who are musicians and performers might be more emotional and expressive in their love language.
My four years of studies have allowed me to see the areas of the world that are imperfect. God has shown me so much sufferings and needs of his people, and it all begins at home. Sometimes being a developed country isn't as luxurious as it seems to be. In fact, life is more difficult in a developed country, as there is a constant struggle to stay alive in the high standard of living. 'No money, No talk, No life'. But in a developing country, life is difficult but the difficulties are minimial, it seldom leads to someone constantly thinking of taking their lives. Turn over the newspaper, which country of people suicide and goes into depression more often? Is it those living with the cows and padi fields, or those trying to stay afloat while chasing the materials of the world and making sure they get the status to reflect they led a successful life.?
There are periods in the four years which I hardened my heart towards these needs and cries. In another words, I got so immune and cynical with all problems that I dun feel anything at all. However, each time I return to God's prescence, tears just rolled down my cheeks because my heart is so heavy and flashes of the needy people appear in my mind. The compassionate and meek me has been blinded by the ugly facts and reality of this world. The world of deceit and lies, pride and skeptism, cynicalism and fear. However, my harden heart, skeptical and cynical mind broke down in the prescence of God. God always reminds me of His Love, His Grace and Mercy. He is the one for me to be compassionate and meek, because Love exists as God exists. Dun be deceived, I am referring to God's love, because only His Love is perfect. It is from his love that you'll find strength and willingness to do what you are doing right now. Unless you believe in God, U believe that Love exists.
God always brings me back to him, so that I can believe in Love once again.
Love unveils my compassionate and meekness towards his people.
Control my irrational and harsh reactions
Love gives me time to think and subsequently the wisdom of God helps me to choose
Though my choices are foolish to the world
God always tells me that His Love is enuff to cover all my foolishness and turn them to a beautiful future.
God is Faithful, when I was faithless.
Having to experience the skills and knowledge was a bonus to me, however without God, it is meaningless for me to carry on in this area of work. There will be nothing for me to believe that my struggles with the pay and relationships with the people are all worth it. God knows my weakness, and he strengthens me with his words of love and truth in a gentle voice.
I am trying to keep a prayerful heart because I am lost once again.
Let's pray .......
Have mixed feelings-
Sense of Joy and relief:
I can comfortably address myself as a social worker.
Dun have to worry about financial constraints every month. Able to contribute to my parents and start doing what makes me happy.
however, there are also
Sense of fear and lost:
Then I ask myself what makes me happy?
What do I wan to do?
Actually all questions boils down to what's my passion ?
Ever since I completed by last assignment, I have been thinking what to do with myself.
Now I have all the time in the world to choose what I wan to do.
For those who know me, I always have a passion for dancing because I believe what's inside you is what comes out. Dance requires a large amount of movements and facial expression. So for those who are musicians and performers might be more emotional and expressive in their love language.
My four years of studies have allowed me to see the areas of the world that are imperfect. God has shown me so much sufferings and needs of his people, and it all begins at home. Sometimes being a developed country isn't as luxurious as it seems to be. In fact, life is more difficult in a developed country, as there is a constant struggle to stay alive in the high standard of living. 'No money, No talk, No life'. But in a developing country, life is difficult but the difficulties are minimial, it seldom leads to someone constantly thinking of taking their lives. Turn over the newspaper, which country of people suicide and goes into depression more often? Is it those living with the cows and padi fields, or those trying to stay afloat while chasing the materials of the world and making sure they get the status to reflect they led a successful life.?
There are periods in the four years which I hardened my heart towards these needs and cries. In another words, I got so immune and cynical with all problems that I dun feel anything at all. However, each time I return to God's prescence, tears just rolled down my cheeks because my heart is so heavy and flashes of the needy people appear in my mind. The compassionate and meek me has been blinded by the ugly facts and reality of this world. The world of deceit and lies, pride and skeptism, cynicalism and fear. However, my harden heart, skeptical and cynical mind broke down in the prescence of God. God always reminds me of His Love, His Grace and Mercy. He is the one for me to be compassionate and meek, because Love exists as God exists. Dun be deceived, I am referring to God's love, because only His Love is perfect. It is from his love that you'll find strength and willingness to do what you are doing right now. Unless you believe in God, U believe that Love exists.
God always brings me back to him, so that I can believe in Love once again.
Love unveils my compassionate and meekness towards his people.
Control my irrational and harsh reactions
Love gives me time to think and subsequently the wisdom of God helps me to choose
Though my choices are foolish to the world
God always tells me that His Love is enuff to cover all my foolishness and turn them to a beautiful future.
God is Faithful, when I was faithless.
Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Having to experience the skills and knowledge was a bonus to me, however without God, it is meaningless for me to carry on in this area of work. There will be nothing for me to believe that my struggles with the pay and relationships with the people are all worth it. God knows my weakness, and he strengthens me with his words of love and truth in a gentle voice.
I am trying to keep a prayerful heart because I am lost once again.
Let's pray .......
