After I have written the last entry, I feel good. It is because I wrote about God and Jesus Christ.
It is always about my life that I write about and worst of all, I write about how miserable and deprive I am from many things or situations, which later leads me to question God 'Why am I going through this?' 'Did you put me through these so that I will learn and grow?'
The answer would be 'Yes'! And I become more miserable because I believed that I need to go through the mistakes and tough situations alone. However the truth is that--- God Loves Me, that's why He gave his son, Jesus Christ to die on the Cross for me. I am a sinner and God first love me. With God's love there is no condemnation. No use running away and hiding from God, because He knows it all. I am a child of God and God promises me in the beginning when I believe in Him, that His riches and glory will come upon me. So it is ironic that I response to life such a way that I am always UNSURE about my love from God and the promises He said that 'He will give me my heart desire'. I am frustrated with myself, God has given me the freedom of choice and here I am choosing DEATH, when I have been given LIFE.
"Let's Move On...." God has been whispering to me.
"...... together........"He continues.
I am many friends who love God and believe in Jesus Christ too. However why is it I am unable to talk and behave just the way I am. Why am I always conscious about how they will think and feel about me? I used to behave to please because I am a youth leader and the expectation is to be perfect and there are many 'Dos' and Don'ts'. But these constraints me in discovering my relationship wth God because I feel that I am not allowed to stumble myself and others, if I do, I will be forevering be a stumbling block. How can I not stumble others and learn from mistakes, when I am not given a 2nd chance and the emotional support for my mental and spiritual support? God Loves me, I know. God Loves you too, and you know.
It is always about my life that I write about and worst of all, I write about how miserable and deprive I am from many things or situations, which later leads me to question God 'Why am I going through this?' 'Did you put me through these so that I will learn and grow?'
The answer would be 'Yes'! And I become more miserable because I believed that I need to go through the mistakes and tough situations alone. However the truth is that--- God Loves Me, that's why He gave his son, Jesus Christ to die on the Cross for me. I am a sinner and God first love me. With God's love there is no condemnation. No use running away and hiding from God, because He knows it all. I am a child of God and God promises me in the beginning when I believe in Him, that His riches and glory will come upon me. So it is ironic that I response to life such a way that I am always UNSURE about my love from God and the promises He said that 'He will give me my heart desire'. I am frustrated with myself, God has given me the freedom of choice and here I am choosing DEATH, when I have been given LIFE.
"Let's Move On...." God has been whispering to me.
"...... together........"He continues.
I am many friends who love God and believe in Jesus Christ too. However why is it I am unable to talk and behave just the way I am. Why am I always conscious about how they will think and feel about me? I used to behave to please because I am a youth leader and the expectation is to be perfect and there are many 'Dos' and Don'ts'. But these constraints me in discovering my relationship wth God because I feel that I am not allowed to stumble myself and others, if I do, I will be forevering be a stumbling block. How can I not stumble others and learn from mistakes, when I am not given a 2nd chance and the emotional support for my mental and spiritual support? God Loves me, I know. God Loves you too, and you know.
